Need
by phantomessangel
Summary: "I told you, you needed a teacher. I can teach you." Whether she wants to or not, Rey becomes Kylo Ren's apprentice...at least when it comes to learning how to wield the infamous Jedi lightsaber.
1. Stances

**A/N: Take a listen to "I'll Be Good" By Jaymes Young. Music seems to inspire all of my writing and this song was particularly good.**

* * *

She was calm.

Eyes closed, she allowed her thoughts to flow, and immersed herself in her surroundings.

Rey inhaled, and allowed her nose to fill with the sweet, heady scents of cool, damp earth, a far cry from the salty, sandy, blistering heat of Jakku.

Straining her ears, she heard the soft, rippling movement of water as it swayed and crashed against the rocks, or flittering and roiled over the edge of the large cliff overhead.

Her ears also pricked at the sound of the wind gently flittered through the leaves and blades of grass, as it brushed against her own cheeks and ruffled the loose tendrils of her hair that had come undone.

Sucking in a large breath, she tasted the salt from the water spray and smiled.

So different than Jakku…

The meditative state she found herself in, however, didn't help her completely ignore the gnawing pang of foreboding that tickled her senses. No matter how great the desire to remain on this tranquil, desolate island, there was still so much to do.

And still so much to fight for.

And while Rey was certainly adept at basic maneuvers with her staff, a lightsaber was another thing altogether.

And as loathe as she was to admit her frustration at him, Rey couldn't deny the rippling agitation at Luke Skywalker's refusal to train her, nor accept the lightsaber and return to his sister.

He'd outright rejected her, tossing the revered Jedi weapon behind himself, and stalking angrily away, tattered grey robes billowing behind him.

The years of solitude had not done the war hero any favors, she admitted somberly, rising to her feet. Rey cast a quick glance towards Luke's hut at the top of the large, expansive peak, and she sighed.

The man's face was weather, worn, chiseled and wrinkled in much the same way many of the rocks had been beaten upon by the wind and rain and ocean spray.

And oh the way he'd frowned at her! The deep bitterness that clouded his eyes as he regarded her and tried to pry into her mind ever so subtly.

When he tossed the lightsaber behind him, flippantly, eyes blazing with contempt and defiance, she'd been surprised.

His verbalized refusal wasn't as shocking.

But, Rey was under strict orders to attempt to persuade the crotchety old Jedi that his sister needed his help.

So far though? It wasn't proving a successful mission. And Rey was stuck here until she did succeed. Leia made her promise.

And Rey wasn't one to go back on her word.

With a large huff, the girl removed the lightsaber from her belt and gently set it aside, picking up the staff she'd set beside her when she'd first found this small meadowed shoreline.

Straightening her stance, the girl brought the staff upright, stamping the base of it into the soft, malleable ground. She felt a sense of satisfaction at the way the ground buckled lightly to her touch.

Flexing her fingers across the cool, familiar metal, the girl focused her gaze on the coastline and a large rock formation that jutted from the water, imposing and looming ahead of her.

It obstructed her view.

Pointing her staff parallel to the ground the girl swung the lithe metal rod above her head, letting the metal slip delicately around her palm and through her fingers before tightening her hold again and forcing the upper end of the staff towards the rockface before her.

She did this again in the opposite direction, this time, pivoting her feet so she stood at an angle to the rippling tides and the large, bulky mass that obstructed her view of the sea and the sun.

Again her hands loosened their hold of the staff, letting it slide easily through her grip, across her wearied palms, until she pulled her hands together, strengthened her hold and leveled and imaginary blow against the rockface she couldn't reach.

She repeated this again and again, throwing in a few more pivoting juts in her footing, spinning once to her opposite side.

She tried an upper-cutting motion with the staff, imagining that she could strike the rock from here.

Then she tried moving her feet off the ground, jumping and leveling an imaginary blow at the rock.

Faster she pushed her movements, her feed easily finding purchase against the rocky terrain.

She kept her eyes leveled on her target, forcing her blows hard and fast. At one point she spun completely around before forcing her staff parallel to the ground again.

As the imagined assault continued she let the frustrations of this mission sink in, weave through her shoulders, down her arms and to her fingers. By consequence, the blows were more forceful, and Rey felt the tension between her weapon and the air around her as she moved the staff around over and over again.

Luke Skywalker was rejecting the resistance.

Luke Skywalker, the Jedi master of legend…

Rejecting his sister, rejecting this fight.

Rejecting her.

Rey let out a low growl as she dropped her staff and panted staring out at the rockface before her.

Her hands clenched and unclenched as she felt the straining pull of that mysterious power inside her.

It frightened and exhilarated her.

But the only one who could actually help her…

He'd refused.

* * *

He was rather surprised to find himself observing her.

He knew she wasn't there, in his chambers, and yet, he could feel the soft swishes her staff had made, could hear her deep breathing as she strained her muscles in order to move precisely, powerfully, going through her paces.

And despite the absurdity of the situation, and the possibility that he'd finally gone mad, he couldn't help but pinpoint some flaws in the girl's stance and in her movements.

She was fearsome with her staff, that was certain, but he suspected that she wasn't skilled in many other weapons.

And that'd be a problem.

Well, for her anyhow.

He smirked derisively, silently recalling her feral snarl in the woods and the way she'd darted towards him, haphazard and vicious. She'd hacked at him, stumbling and sliding through the snow on Starkiller. She'd only been more surefooted after she'd tapped into that power, into that raw energy that he could feel cascading through her veins.

She needed a teacher though.

For, while she'd bested him—he placed a hand carefully against the long scar that ran along his cheek—she'd been lucky to do so.

And luck wouldn't always be there to save her.

* * *

With a frown, Rey's eyes drifted to the lightsaber at her feet.

The cool smooth metal of the hilt called to her and made her question the old Jedi's motives for rejecting it to callously.

She stared, feeling her chest tighten as she watched the silvery sheen of the hilt caressed by the low grass that swayed in the cool breeze, kissing the surface of the metal.

Without a second thought, the girl reached down and plucked the weapon from the ground, cradling the surprisingly heavy object in her hands.

She scanned the outer structure carefully, noting the few notches and nicks the metal bore after years of handling and abuse.

And battles.

'What conflict it must have been a part of.' She mused thoughtfully, 'What history it contained.'

And Luke had thrown it away without a second thought.

Thrown it away and refused to acknowledge her either.

The silvery sheen of the hilt caught the sunlight, forcing Rey to squint briefly as her frown deepened.

She glared at the lightsaber before shooting a glance towards the rocky island before raising the weapon to the ready.

She adjusted her hands to grasp the hilt of the lightsaber, and spread her feet as she'd done with her staff, feeling the soft dirt and rocks shift beneath her boots.

If he wouldn't accept this…

Rey could feel the soft pulsing power of that force—the force—coursing through her skull, downwards towards her legs and fingertips. Her hands shook lightly at the vibrations of power that coursed unrestricted.

With a swift flick of her finger weapon ignited with a 'zwoosh' and Rey felt the tantalizing warmth of the soft blue blade near her cheek.

With a small smirk, the girl cast her attention back to the rockface ahead of her and she squared her shoulder, flexed her fingers before bringing the blade parallel to the ground as she'd done with her staff.

She swung her blade upward, loosening her hold ever so slightly to allow the hilt to spin in her palm.

 _You need a teacher. That's a terrible hold._

The girl jerked back in surprise, a soft disgruntled squeak escaping her lips as the lightsaber went soaring from her grip and sailing through the air, and—to her surprise—nearly through the visage of Kylo Ren, who stood stoically leaning against a tree, arms folded and brow quirked.

He ducked his head lightly as the saber smacked against the tree with a hiss before disengaging its blade and clattering to the ground.

Rey stood, mouth agape, heart hammering wildly against her chest as she stood peering into the derisive and judgmental gaze of her adversary.

The same adversary who, realistically, couldn't be here.

Right?

Suddenly, in a panic, the girl reached for her staff, and angled it towards Kylo Ren, her eyes narrowing and a snarl escaping her lips.

"How did you find me?"

To her query he snorted and shook his head.

"I thought you were intelligent scavenger," he snipped at her. "Had I been here, you'd taken my head off with the lightsaber you couldn't keep in your scrawny little mitts."

Rey glowered at the man, tightening her grip on her staff as she dug her heels into the ground.

"What are you doing here?"

Her tone was low, clipped and accusatory.

"How are you doing this?"

Again he snorted and shook his head, letting out a low huff of indignation.

"How should I know?" He retorted, pushing himself away from the tree as he unfurled his folded arms.

Rey was struck, suddenly, by the informal attire he bore. Gone with his long overcoat and hood, several buttons of his tunic undone and the cowl about his neck missing.

His dark hair was mussed and waving haphazardly about his face, threatening to flop into his eyes if he wasn't careful.

"Like I said though, you need a teacher."

"No."

The rebuttal came out of her mouth before she could comprehend his offer.

She didn't want to feel more anger than she already had.

At her refusal, Kylo Ren rolled his eyes.

"You're a fool then. You'll die in short order before we meet again."

"Now just minute," She refuted, stepping forward, closer to the infuriating enemy before her, "You think I can trust you with anything? You're my enemy. You're a _monster_."

The man's eyes darkened as he scanned her face.

"Yes I am," He agreed lightly, eyes alight with a deep, vicious fire, "And you'd do well to remember that. I only suggest you need a teacher to give you a fighting chance. Make the sport worth my while."

* * *

He watched the way the girl's countenance darkened, he felt the influx in the power that surrounded her being and seemed to tug at his own senses, linking the two of them together.

'That had to be it.'

The man pinched the bridge of his nose and cursed whatever twist of fate had brought him here and glared at the girl.

"I know that Luke Skywalker has rebuked you," He marked the way the girl stiffened and cast him a suspicious, inquisitive stare.

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, reveling how uncomfortable he seemed to make her.

"Don't think me so stupid. I figured it out quite easily. I know you've found him, though I can't seem to see any of your surroundings, and I can guess that he's refused you. I sense it in your thoughts."

"Get out of my head," she snarled defensively, anger rolling over her in waves.

'Good' he thought 'Make her angry. Help her see the power in that.'

"If he's refused you, then let me show you how to handle that lightsaber. You need a teacher."

* * *

There it was again.

The admonishing stare, the confident, predatory nature that oozed off Kylo Ren. His muscles were taut, jaw clenched, frown firmly tugging at his lips as his eyes tracked her every move.

Dangerous energy rippled off him.

And Rey hated it.

"No thanks. I refused you already didn't I? Now leave me alone."

In an act of bravery, and with her heart in her throat, the girl marched forward, towards the imposing, dark figure and reached for the lightsaber that lay forgotten by the, no scarred, tree.

Hastily the girl grasped the hilt and turned her back on the spectral image of her enemy.

Marching back to her original position, the girl turned away from Kylo Ren and back to the imposing rockface that stood stalwart amongst the waves and roiling water.

She raised the weapon again, let her eyes slip closed and sucked in a deep breath, willing her heart to ease in its erratic beating.

She could do this.

She didn't need anyone to…she didn't want anyone to help her.

She'd survived this long on her own…

For the second time, Rey raised the saber parallel to the ground and pressed the button, igniting the familiar heated blade, pointing its tip towards the rockface that she knew was before her.

She raised her arm, shifted her stance, bending her knees ever so slightly, and loosened the hold on the hilt of the saber, allowing the weapon to flow freely between her fingers as she brought her arm backwards-

 _But you're lonely aren't you? And you're scared. Scared of what this power could do to you, how it feels as though you're barely holding on, barely escaping being consumed by it._

For the second time that day, Rey's concentration was interrupted and with a surprised jolt, the lightsaber slipped from her grip yet again and soared through the air.

This time, it struck a rock before tumbling a ways down the hillside.

She let out a low string of curses as she scrambled after the tumbling weapon.

In the back of her mind she swore she could hear the man snigger.

 _I told you you needed a teacher. I can teach you the ways of the force and the ways to wield the weapon of the Jedi._

Rey ignore him, determined to do this on her own.

She wouldn't succumb to that vapid, arrogant, devious fiend.

Once more her fingers curled around the hilt and she hastily scaled the rest of the steps back to where she'd originally planted her feet and proceeded once more to her first position.

She could do this.

She could—

Again and again the blade slipped from her grip when she attempted to maneuver the lightsaber to the parallel position strike.

It was infuriating, too, that her adversary stood there, stoic and silent, carefully analyzing each shift in her footing and each time the revered Jedi weapon pulled away from her hold.

However derisive his comments had been before, now Kylo Ren was silent, ochre orbs narrowed thoughtfully, mouth tilted into a light smirk at her failure.

She watched the way his obsidian hair ruffled and swayed, much as the grass blades had against the wind.

Her heart fluttered lightly even as she silently seethed at her own failings.

But she would do this.

She could do this.

 _Stop thinking that the blade and the hilt are balanced as your staff is._ His voice coaxed from the back of her mind, nudging at her senses.

Rey snorted derisively and tried to push the man out of her head.

 _Leave me alone._

It was Ren's turn to sigh.

 _Listen, if you ever want to find yourself confident with that weapon you need to stop comparing it to your precious staff. They're two different weapons._

Rey glowered

 _I'm not going to accept you as my teacher. Don't bother. I don't want to follow that darkness that consumes you._

 _The last time I checked, using a lightsaber wasn't relegated to the dark side of the force exclusively. I don't think training you to defend yourself will turn you into a Sith Lord._

Rey was skeptical.

Then why…?

She leveled her gaze at the enemy who'd managed to project himself to her.

Again, Ren sighed at quirked a brow at her, folding his arms again.

 _As I said, you need a teacher if you hope to defend yourself. And, I need a fair fight. The first time we fought your powers guided you enough to protect you. That wasn't skill. It was luck. You need more than that. Now, raise your weapon, but don't loosen your grip._

* * *

To his annoyance, the woman remained still, tawny orbs swirling with defiance, but indecision at the same time.

She was defying him.

And it would be her downfall.

 _I don't gain anything by helping you and until I figure out a way to separate this…connection between us, were sort of stuck together. Now, if you'll raise your weapon to the ready…_

Of course, the girl ignored his command and turned away from her would-be instructor, though she did raise her weapon (to his satisfaction).

The girl, dug her heels into the ground and he watched the way she anchored her arms at the elbow, and tightened her grip on the hilt of the lightsaber, her shoulders tensing.

His gaze swept over the girl's form and though she'd taken to holding the hilt of the saber tighter than before, her movements were still unrefined and her stance was too accommodating to the enemy.

She wasn't utilizing her movements to her advantage.

All he'd have to do…

Without another thought, the man stalked towards the girl and swept his own foot across the ground, catching Rey's ankle and sending the girl off balance.

Her weapon dropped almost instantaneously as she stumbled, her body contorting awkwardly to try to regain purchase against being uprooted.

With a soft grunt, she whipped around and glared at the man who hadn't completely expected the maneuver to work (given they weren't really standing face to face).

Never mind that though, he'd been right.

He frowned at the girl, angling his own stance so that he towered over her. Peering down his nose at the perturbed would-be Jedi, he noted the way her own nose wrinkled in disdain the freckles thereon also smattering across the smoothness of her cheeks.

Her eyes glittered dangerously and he felt the pulsing power of the connection between them.

 _If you want a fair fight, you have to use every resource to your advantage. Don't let your enemy find a weak point like your stance. Keep every muscle contracted and controlled so that if someone were to level an assault on your positioning…_

He tried to sweep his foot against her ankle again, but the girl was ready for him and side stepped easily.

 _Good._

He noted how she tried to take a step back, but he was far too invested in teaching her this lesson to allow her to back down now.

 _You want your arms to find a balance between one another, anchoring your weight so you can keep control of the force of your thrust. Your feet should mirror that anchoring. Space your legs far enough that you have a stiff resistance to the ground. It makes it harder for the opponent to knock you off balance._

Rey frowned at him.

 _I don't want your help. I don't need your help._

But he wasn't so easily swayed by her refusal. The same fire wasn't in her tone—even her internal one—and he could see the snatches of a memory floating, unbidden and unrestricted through their link.

She must not have realized.

He smirked.

"Luke used the same trick on me."

* * *

Rey felt the heat on her neck at Ren's admission and his offhanded smirk towards her.

Embarrassment gnawed at her senses even as a small smirk worked its way to her own lips at the thought that someone like Kylo Ren had been bested by a plant and an old Jedi with a very cross sense of humor.

To her thought, the Supreme Leader Snoke's right hand man nodded curtly and shook his head briefly.

 _Yes, even I can fall for a trick like that. Especially when it's…_

He trailed off, catching her gaze briefly before focusing his attention again to her stance. He pursed his lips briefly before procuring his own saber and setting it ablaze.

Instantly Rey recoiled, bringing her own weapon up in defense.

What did he mean by—

Ren held a hand up to placate her.

 _I'm not going to attack you. Wouldn't do any good. I simply think that if you're going to train, you may as well do it correctly._

Rey didn't alter her defensive position as she eyed Kylo Ren warily, watching as he rolled his eyes before he shifted his own footing and tightened his ungloved hands around the hilt of his saber.

One leg pivoted horizontal to the man's body, the other went parallel. Rey noted how they seemed to match the width of his shoulders, sending a balanced image between his arms and his legs.

He nodded at her assessment.

 _Exactly. My arms and legs should strike an even image. I'll use both to my advantage. The arms—_ Here too he leveled his upper arms parallel to the ground, his forearms jutting swiftly upwards— _The arms should be taut, firm, and tightly coiled. Consider them as springs waiting to launch, if you will. The force you hold in your arms should mirror the force of your grip. Now, try it._

Rey didn't move, flummoxed by the turn of events. Did he honestly think that she'd be complicit in this little…she didn't even know what to call it.

The girl lowered her saber hesitantly.

And Kylo Ren sighed in annoyance.

 _Alright then. Have it your way._

Without warning, the man advanced on the girl, his lightsaber level towards her throat.

Pulling her blade back up, Rey met with a powerful resistance as Ren's sizzling blade snapped against hers. Pressing his advantage in height and strength he bore down on the girl.

 _Fix your stance! Don't give your opponent the upper hand. Doesn't matter their size or strength. Use your resources. Your legs have power in them. Hold your position against me._

The admonishment echoed in the girl's head as Ren stared hard at her, pressing the blade of the saber more forcefully.

 _Anchor your arms and press hard against me. Do it or you'll lose the saber and my weapon will slice right through you._

At first she refused to listen, but flashes of that night on Starkiller wormed their way forward to her senses, and Rey felt her heart beat wildly in her chest, her panic rose as she recalled the unwavering fury in his eyes and the deep agitation he exuded.

 _Feed into those emotions. Tap into that force connection and let it enhance your strength and positioning. Don't hold back. It'll kill you. Now, concentrate!_

Rey's fingers flexed momentarily as she tried to quell the growing push of power against her limbs and mind. There was the niggling sensation of inquiry, suspicion and curiosity that bit at her, demanding attention.

He was trying to pry into her mind.

With a deep frown and a low snarl, Rey pushed back, sucking in a deep breath and focusing on that rush of energy that seemed to wrap around every fiber of her being. She pushed at it, prodded the fire that seemed to burn in her and concentrated on how the tendrils of power wove their way from her chest and mind outward. Warmth seemed to spread down her neck, across her shoulders and towards her fingertips. Her chest blossomed with a growing familiarity and gentle cascading fire that fed into her legs and towards her toes.

It seeped from her form into the soil, into the air and into her lightsaber.

With another growl, Rey pushed back against Ren, willing that wellspring of warmth and bubbled inside her to feed into her movements.

 _Watch your form. Don't forsake technique for raw talent, however great it is._

With a derisive snort, Rey dug her heels into the ground and pivoted her left foot so it angled outward, keeping her other foot straight.

She let her knees bend lightly and squared her shoulders, tightening her grip on the base of the lightsaber's hilt.

She met Ren's gaze with her own and he watched her with narrowed brown orbs, his lips pull into a thin line.

 _Counter the weight of the hilt with the force of your blow. Remember the blade is lighter than the hilt. Balance them out._

He pushed hard this time, pulling his unstable blade back before pressing the large red blad agasint her blue one, baring his teeth as he did so.

His right leg shifted behind him as he arched his back lightly, tucking his shoulders closer to his body.

 _Pull back and adjust your stance, don't fall into the trap._

Rey didn't hesitate to pull her own blade back as Ren did the same. They struck together once more, this time Rey's widened her stance, placing her own leg angled lightly behind her and pressing her right leg forward, bent at the knee.

Again and again they pulled back and pressed together, Ren's height advantage forcing Rey to anchor her legs more firmly in the ground, angling her arms deeply as she pressed back, placing at much weight and effort into her blow as possible.

 _Now, pull back and parry._

* * *

The command seemed to catch the girl off guard for as he pulled back and maneuvered to the side and released one hand from the hilt of his lightsaber, she seemed to falter as he flicked his wrist and curved his blow upwards instead of down.

The saber went sailing from her grip and she nearly landed on her rear.

Her mouth was slightly agape, chest heaving from the exertion as she angled her body away from her opponent and towards her still singing blade.

"Parrying is different than a straight block. You have to mimic your enemy, try to match their footwork with your own, but remember that with one hand, the balance of the blade remains rather unsteady."

He swung his own blade in his hand, feeling the sharp metal spin carefully in his palm before, with a flourish, he angled the saber towards the ground.

He noted, with some satisfaction, that Rey's attention remained riveted to his movements. He could see the wheels turning in her head as she analyzed how he first loosened, but then quickly tightened his grip on the hilt before the weapon could spin from his person.

"You can't expect to keep the balance on the blade if you don't keep your grip sharp as well. Loosen it only long enough to get the movement you need. Keep a tight grip to facilitate that power."

Swiftly, he released the mechanism and silenced his blade, connecting it to his belt before stepping forward.

Rey was rooted to the spot, eyes wide as she observed his careful movements towards her.

He noted, somewhat derisively, that a drizzle of rain splattered about them.

 _The rain'll make your footholds harder to hold. Keep that in mind_

He supplied the suggestion silently as he walked behind the girl and carefully grabbed her dominant wrist, where the saber whirred dangerously.

"What are you-?"

"Your arm is too stiff," He admonished, cutting her off, but not without noting how the girl went rigid when he'd approached, "You need to loosen your muscles, keep them warm and fluid in your movements. That's where you're speed will come from."

Carefully he bent her arm upwards at the elbow, bring her saber and wrist eyelevel while raising her elbow to just below the level of her shoulder.

"Keep this raised as well" He remarked, turning to her other hand, "Even if you don't have a weapon here, use your force to push against your enemy. The saber will only guide you so far. You have to use the power you've been gifted to press your advantage."

He lifted her hand, straightened her fingers and then stepped around the girl, admiring her stance and the way she'd naturally angled her knee to project forward, signaling where she intended to strike.

"Now, let's try again," He removed his lightsaber and ignited it as he stepped past the girl, shooting her a narrowed smirk, "Show me how you'd do it."

* * *

This time Rey didn't hesitate to plant her feet, mimicking Ren's own movements, as she shook her shoulders before raising her own lightsaber, allowing the hilt of the blade to swivel in her hand as she curved her arm upward. At he last moment, she brought the hilt into a firm grip and managed to connect her blade with his once more.

Inwardly she was pleased she'd managed to keep hold of her weapon, though she didn't have long to dwell on the fact.

He wasn't just practicing basic maneuvers this time. Instead they were sparring.

"Practice changing your footwork. Parry and then defend. Don't let your guard down."

This time he parried, swiveled and then spun his stance, catching Rey on the opposite side she was intended. She had little time to adjust and meet his blade in a defensive block before he pulled back and pressed his advantage again, striking downwards in an furious series of hacking attacks.

Rey met his blow, slipping momentarily on some of the rain soaked rocks beneath her feet. She quickly corrected her stance and ducked as Ren's lightsaber soared dangerously close to her. With an upward swing and then a hastily placed swivel, she met Ren's blade once, and then again on the opposite side.

It was her turn to press the advantage as she willed her arms to keep moving, spying when Ren changed his footing and attempted to catch her left side.

She met his blow with one of her own, but then thrust her leg forward, into the man's stomach before he could strike her again.

* * *

He was mildly impressed, and a little surprised when her blow sent him backwards.

She'd finally learned to use all her resources, it seemed.

He landed with a soft clatter against the ground—well the floor of his chambers anyway—and raised a hand in surrender to the girl who stood over him, lightsaber raised, chest heaving as water dribbled down her cheeks and chin.

Her eyes were alight, fingers taut against the weather blue saber's hilt as her hair remained matted to her face. She looked almost feral.

He could feel the power radiating from her.

"Good, but you'll need to keep practicing your footwork."

With a with thrust of his leg, he (once more) knocked the girl off her feet and sent her weapon soaring out of his vision.

* * *

Rey landed with a hard 'thud' the wind knocked from her lungs as rainwater splashed her face.

She reveled in the sensation of cool liquid splashing her face, easing the heat that seemed to radiate off her skin even as she felt the blossoming satisfaction of having made a little progress with her lightsaber prowess.

 _I take it they don't have rain on Jakku, eh Scavenger?_

She looked towards Ren and frowned, searching the man's face for any malice.

There didn't seem to be any. Instead, the young man only seemed interested in studying her, eyes searching her face silently, thoughtfully. His hair was more disheveled than she'd ever seen and his usually pale cheeks seemed flushed from the exertion of their sparring lesson. Though, unlike her unsightly, sweaty face, Ren remained more neutral and calm, his breathing even.

 _It comes with practice, that calm you seek in your breathing. The more you work with your powers and your paces, the more comfortable you'll become in finding the natural rhythm for battle. Much more reliable than that dumb luck you employed last time._

Shocked out of her reverie, Rey hastily scrambled to her feet and sheathed her weapon at her belt. She peered up towards Ren's face, as he too rose slowly, flexing his fingers before straightening his stance.

"I told you that you needed a teacher."

"I'm not joining you," She snapped back warily, warring with herself and the joy she found bubbling in her chest at her progress.

There was another sensation there too, one pressing on her mind and she knew, that it was him and whatever this…this connection was.

"We'll see." He remarked lightly, almost carelessly, a smirk ghosting over his features.

"Until then, you'll have to work on your stance. Still a little weak."

* * *

The smirk stayed in place even as she lifted the small blaster she'd brought with her and aimed it at him, firing as he disappeared from her view.

Once more Kylo Ren was left with the dark, cold walls of his quarters, his thoughts swirling with images of their sparring match.

For a moment, he wondered if he'd dreamed it all, but the dampness on his shoulders and the droplets of water on his hand suggested otherwise.

'Interesting' he thought.

'Very interesting.'


	2. Mental Defenses

**"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."**

* * *

 **Chapter 2:**

Huddled under her large cloak, seated on the long, stone bench outside of Luke's hut, Rey had ample time to think.

Not that it did her any good. If anything, it made her more agitated, something that even the rain couldn't quell. Her muscles felt too tightly coiled, as though she were some feral animal waiting to strike at the first shadow that dared move.

Of course she really didn't have to think of the reasons why she felt this way. She knew why. But the knowledge didn't help her situation. In fact, it complicated things immensely.

He complicated things immensely. Kylo Ren…Ben Solo, whatever he deigned to identify himself as. His appearance, their sparring match, spanning across the galaxy, baffled her. His attitude towards her confounded and infuriated her. She wanted to hate him, wanted to have that clear cut line in the sand.

Good and evil.

Right and wrong.

That's how she'd lived for so long. There were good people and there were bad people. There was the right thing and there was the wrong thing.

But now…

Blast it all! She couldn't shake the sense that no matter how much she willed it, there was much more to Kylo Ren than the black and white dynamic of good and evil.

And that made it harder for her to hate him.

So there Rey lay, fingers gripping the coarse grey of her cloak, pulling the thick material closer around her persona as the wind and cool, droplets of water beat about her and howled in her ears.

She marveled at the complexity of weather outside of Jakku and lamented for the reality that though she was here reveling in this rainstorm, it wasn't as a form of escape. Nor was she enjoying it, being locked out of doors as she was.

And it brought to light the conundrum she was currently mulling over.

Luke Skywalker, the man, the myth and the legend that she'd heard so much of and admired had refused her admittance.

He'd outright locked her out!

This good, humble, jedi warrior scowled, grumbled, growled and insulted her, refused to entertain the notion of returning to the resistance and aiding his sister. Nor would he even consider Rey's own growing panic and frustration at these new powers, this new sensation and the aching loneliness that threatened to overtake her.

She found like a floundering child, lost among the stars, lost among the great heroes of the resistance. And the one person who, she was assured, could help her, refused.

And then Kylo…Ben had taken the time to teach her something, to guide her power and the help—

NO.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

He'd killed his father, hurt her friend.

And yet…

With a frustrated huff, Rey rose to her feet, feeling the surge of agitation working through her bloodstream, filling her senses with a crackling energy that both terrified and thrilled her.

The rain pattered atop her head as she threw back her hood and stretched, moving away from the hermited jedi's hut, and down towards the shoreline, where large waves crashed and broke against the rocks that surrounded the peaked island.

She needed a distraction.

She didn't want to think about…anything…

Tentatively, Rey scuttled down the steep, slick embankment and edged ever closer to the shoreline, marveling how the waves crested and broke against the dark rocks, defined even in the darkness and cloud-covered haze that surrounded them.

The sound the ways made was interesting enough to her, never mind the damp, rocky shoreline and the lush greenery. This was nothing like Jakku, nothing like the arid, warming desert sun that beat down relentlessly. There were no waves, only dunes of scratchy sand that snuck into boots and hid metal, relics of ages past.

No, here the waves beat the relics, eroded history and fashioned it into something new.

She wondered, briefly, as her eyes slipped closed and she honed in on that sound, on the way the water crashed against and then slid down the rock, dripped against her skin and bounced off the small trees and grass, she wondered if there were something more to this place. Why else would Luke Skywalker choose it?

The salty, cool, air filled her nostrils and she rolled her shoulders and concentrated on the soft breeze that smattered raindrops on her arms and face.

'He'd said it was to come and die' she mused, 'But there…maybe there's more to it.'

There was something about this place. Something that must have drawn Luke here just as it seemed to…

Something familiar…

Yet different too.

Not just because of the colder, wetter climate. No, there was…something niggling at her senses, prickling against the hair on her arm and back of her neck.

The climate was different, yes, but the feeling it was both new and familiar at the same time.

It wasn't unpleasant, but it did spark something in her…something she'd come to fear about herself.

It was the power she could sense emanating from every crevice and twig of this place…It felt like home in a way…

"What a nauseatingly sentimental notion."

Rey stiffened and refused to turn around, her fists clenching and eyes narrowing at the resurgence of the all too terrifying and annoying sensation of a connection forming.

"What do you want" she ground out lowly, refusing to turn to face the young warrior of the First Order. "I'd rather not do this now."

"Yeah me too," came Ren's clipped reply, undertones of bitterness and curiosity coloring his inflections "Though it appears I don't have much say in the matter."

Then he snorted.

"Though it's not as if you can control it either. The effort alone would kill you, no matter how strong you are."

At that Rey turned to snarl at the man, demand he leave her be…

But blanched when she caught his visage…

And lack of dress.

Her words died in her throat and an uncomfortable heat grazed her neck as she hastily averted her eyes.

"Can—can you put something, a cowl maybe?"

Ren, to his abhorrent credit, only chuckled.

"That's hardly the most important thing at the moment," He remarked slowly, "I'm much more interested to understand why you and I seem to have formed a connection."

Rey scowled and met his leveled gaze with one of her own.

"I don't know why," she remarked, "But it'll do you know good. I'm not telling you anything."

Kylo Ren only quirked a brow and tilted his head at Rey.

"I never imagined you would" He remarked carefully, peering into her eyes, his own narrowed thoughtfully, "You're much too willful for that."

"Why is the force connecting us, you and I? What...what is this?"

He seemed perplexed, or perturbed and annoyed by their appearance together.

And Rey suspected that he was as confused as she.

But the gentleness in his tone sent her reeling lightly.

Rey shook her head to dispel any notion of Kylo Ren being gentle from her head.

"Stay away from me, murderous snake," She snarled taking a defensive step back, the cool blue hue of the lightsaber humming near her ear.

Kylo Ren only quirked a brow at her and continued to stare.

"You know, I can't really see anything near you, can you see my surroundings?"

He seemed genuinely curious.

"Why do I only see you? hmm..."

He stopped looking at her for a moment and let his eyes slip closed before rubbing a gloved hand across his nose.

"This is rather absurd really. Why would the force connect us? What's so special about you?"

"Nothing. now leave me alone."

At that, the man stood straighter and cast the girl a cool glance, eyes narrowed and calculating.

"Do you really believe that? That you're nothing? Interesting."

Rey started in surprise at the return of the gentle tone as the man watched her, her heart leaping in her throat as he took a step forward.

What did he mean by coming so close?

"You still have that look in your eye, the one from Starkiller, in the forest." He noted softly, "The power's there, yes, but you still won't listen to me. It'd be a wasted effort to try to convince you."

Rey balked slightly at Ren's admission—though he seemed to be talking more to himself than her—and peered at the man curiously, wondering just what he was getting at. She took stock of the firm jawline, the narrowed gaze, and noted the deep ridge that cascaded down his cheek and across his shoulder and part of his chest.

That's where she'd…

Flashes of that moment on the First Order base flittered across her mind, reminding Rey of the power she'd felt in that moment, the anger and bitterness she held for the man that she'd bested.

He'd taken away Han Solo, his own father.

He'd tried to kill Finn, dropping her friend in the snow like some forgotten toy.

And he'd tried to convince her that she was just like him, that she—with all her powers in the force—could and would be an asset to the First Order. That they could be…friends? Partners? That they were the same, dark being…

That he could teach her to harness the anger and the confusion and the bitterness and loneliness she felt.

But no, the satisfaction at her forceful answer, her reaction and her ability to best him quelled any doubt she might have entertained.

Rey started as Kylo Ren quirked a grin at her.

"Admiring you work, eh?"

The girl only pursed her lips and turned away from the infuriation that stood before her.

Kylo Ren, however, didn't seem keen to take the hint.

"Ah you were, weren't you? Admiring your work, I mean." He continued languidly. Rey picked up on the way amusement tinted his tone. "Admiring what your anger can do?"

Rey refused to be baited and tried to ignore the man, unwilling to admit the truth in his words…or the way they sparked concern within her.

Kylo Ren only chuckled. "No bother denying it," He continued, "I've read it in your thoughts, and on your face. You're not subtle enough to escape notice you know."

"Stay out of my head!" Rey snapped agitatedly, teeth clenched together as she turned to glower at the man behind her.

Kylo Ren, to his credit, took no stock of her agitation. Instead he stood with arms crossed, a small smirk still in place as he assessed her face.

"I wouldn't do it if it weren't so easy." He remarked dismissively, searching her face thoughtfully, "Like I said, you need a teacher. Not just with lightsabers and wielding weapons, but with protecting your mind from intruding forces. You're useless to the First Order and the Resistance if you can't at least temper your thoughts and build a barrier."

"I don't need your help," she snapped, glowering at the man, unwilling to acknowledge the way her heart clamored against her chest and the sense of dread that filled her veins.

She was…

"Useless, yes. You can't protect anyone if you can't protect yourself," Ren supplied languidly, brow arched thoughtfully at her, "Didn't my uncle teach you anything? You're more a liability than you are an aid, no matter what powers you possess."

Kylo Ren stopped speaking for a moment before taking a step towards the girl who took a step back, feeling the soft movement of the grasses and mud beneath her boots.

"Rey." The name came quickly from the young man's lips, startling Rey with its softness in tone. she wasn't sure what was happening but she wanted to figure it out.

He took another step towards her, swallowing something back as he seemed to think better of himself.

With deft fingers, the girl wrapped her hand around the lightsaber, hastily raising it to the ready, the echoes of her name sprinkled through the wind.

With a deep breath she flicked the switch and relied on the gentle hum of the electricity to calm her shaking nerves.

Ren seemed to pay no mind to the blade aimed towards him, eyes trained on the girl's face, his own features pulled into a neutral mask.

Except for his eyes, which flicked across her face, searching for something.

She could feel him probing around in her head, no matter how she wished he wouldn't, and despite the fact that the invasion didn't feel as cruel this time as it did the first time they'd met.

He was coming closer, eeking into her innermost though looking for something in particular, even as his footfalls inched ever nearer.

And she didn't know what it might be.

And yet…there was something there. When she pushed back mentally, trying to pry into his thoughts, she supposed she could…she supposed that there was something there, a darkness—yes—but, but there was something else too.

Vulnerability?

"Rey."

The girl shuddered at the sound, her nerves wavering.

The call wasn't harsh, commanding, or cruel. It was, instead, a calm one. Almost compassionate, if she were being honest.

But that didn't make any sense, especially given who was calling to her. Why would he?

Why would he ever use kindness towards her? What would it benefit him?

Rey's brows rose in surprise as the man in question, an uncomfortable sensation settling in her belly as he tried to pry further into her thoughts.

She resisted, tried to push him away, reverse the tide and probe into his mind the way he'd done to her.

His brows were furrowed, lips pulled into a frown as he gazed at her.

Hands, ever wrapped in his leather gloves, clenched in agitation...and something else Rey couldn't decipher.

"Rey."

The word came out softly again as he watched her unblinking, his ochre eyes searching her face.

"You're not nothing, you know."

Rey sucked in another breath as he stepped closer still, the coolness of his breath ghosting over her cheeks as he reached for her neck.

"Stay away from me!"

The lightsaber came up between them, blocking the man from advancing.

Rey wasn't even sure it would.

"You have power" He remarked softly. "Don't let anyone see your vulnerability. Don't let them use it against you. You have to imagine a wall in your mind, constructed out of the firmest material, impenetrable to outsiders."

"I don't need your—"

"You don't want to admit the fear that you are nothing, that you're defenseless and vulnerable to failure." He snapped suddenly, eyes blazing in agitation, "You can't let anyone—the First Order, the Resistance—your friends, or your enemies know who you are that deep down. They'll use it against you."

Rey gaped in surprise at Kylo Ren, a rush of familiar longing and loneliness coursing through her. He seemed so adamant that she hide that part of her away, that she protect herself from …

Of course he'd known her innermost fears and deepest secret…

That didn't make it easier to hear.

But instead of insulting her weakness…She wondered, for a brief moment if he were speaking more to himself again than to her.

'Hmm…' Rey pressed her luck and pushed her mental forces back towards Ren, catching the man off guard long enough to see inside his mind.

Her attempt did, in fact, catch the man unprepared long enough for her to break past a rather impressive barrier she hadn't noticed the first time she'd tried this during their first 'interrogation'.

Where she once saw his fear at never being like Darth Vader—there, beneath the fear of being too unlike his idol, he saw the fear of failure, of not belonging, of never finding his rightful place and gaining…

"You fear being forgotten" She muttered thoughtfully, watching the way the man's expression darkened as he forcefully expelled her from the recesses of his thoughts, a firm gate erected around his mind once more.

But Rey's curiosity was piqued.

"Why?" She queried softly, releasing the saber and casting it aside for the moment "Why fear being forgotten? You had a father who loved you, a mother who still does. Why can't—why do you feel as thought that's never going to be enough?"

"That's not your business desert rat," He snapped in reply, forcing his own power once more into her mind, "You should be much more concerned with the fear you harbor, the fear of being an outcast among those you call 'friend', the fear you have at never finding your parents—" at that he scoffed, "And the fear you have at the power that's threatening to consume you, that fear of the darkness and your own anger that's driving you, tantalizing and terrifying at the same time."

He smiled at her, dark and brooding.

"If you don't want your story splayed for those on the opposing side to manipulate, then construct a wall and defend your mind from invasion."

His command was hard as he tried to push into her mind again.

To Rey it felt like nails clawing inside her head, making her shudder as she took a step back and released her hold on the lightsaber.

'Push me away' he commanded lowly, his voice echoing in her head, 'use that anger you have towards me and drive me away from your mind, force me out.'

Rey cursed silently as she pressed against the uncomfortable pressure that threatened to consume her mind, willing herself to focus her energy into repelling the intruder.

'Good, now keep pressing me out, but construct a wall. Don't let me see anything, even as I'm being driven away. Picture a wall, the highest, strongest, and thickest wall you can imagine.'

Rey faltered for a moment at the remark and Ren pressed his advantage once more, a barrage of angry, scratching beat against her skull, making Rey wince and snarl in agitation as she pressed back, shoving the mental image of Kylo Ren from her mind, willing the large walls of her AT-AT fortress to solidify around her memories, around her thoughts, fears, and hopes.

'Stay out of my head!' She cursed at him silently, pressing him further back, further away.

Back towards his mind.

And Rey saw it more clearly this time: The wall, dark, obsidian and shining, denying her entrance into Kylo Ren's deepest thoughts.

But curiosity pique, once more, she pressed again and again, trying to push Ren so far back into his own thoughts that she could peer into what scared the knight of the first order.

There was almost a thirst to know what he was hiding and why he felt forgotten, and alone in this world.

'If you want to know my thoughts, you'll have to use my tactics against me. You'll need to embrace the anger you feel and let it flow through you, enhancing your power. Press any advantage you can find and break down defenses.'

Rey started in surprise and horror and pulled her power away abruptly as though she'd been burned by the horror of what she was doing.

And who she was mimicking.

'No.'

No she wouldn't do this.

"Leave me alone," she muttered, averting her gaze and stepping back, "I won't do this anymore."

"You're giving up too easily, desert rat," Kylo Ren snorted at her, his tone neutral and unreadable. "You have a lot of potential and you can learn to defend yourself if you'd just—"

"I'm not going to be like you!" Rey suddenly snapped, eyes flashing as she glowered towards Kylo Ren, "I won't submit to any dark notions that the force has or that you're trying to convince me are there and useful. I won't do it."

"I wasn't giving you a choice," He retorted, pressing more force into invading her senses, clawing towards her innermost thoughts.

Rey winced as she stepped backwards, slipping on the softened ground as Kylo Ren continued to barrage her mind, forcing her to quelling the powerful beating against her skull and his invasive thoughts.

'If you want to survive this you have to learn to protect yourself" he snapped at her, "Now build a wall! Push me away and don't let me enter again!"

Ren's lips twisted into a macabre grin as he glared down at her, stepping ever closer, power rolling from him in waves.

'I'm not giving you a choice. Nor will anyone else be so kind. So grow up and learn to fight back!'

He was angry now and asserting every ounce of dominance against her. This both terrified and angered Rey as well.

How dare he suppose he could take advantage…

How dare he think he was so much better than she that he could dictate how she should or shouldn't act, or how she could—

"Blame me all you'd like desert girl," he snipped lowly, pressing more power on her mind, willing himself to see inside her thoughts, to glean whatever information he wanted, "But you're the one to blame. It's your fight, your mind, and your resistance that matter. No amount of strength from the enemy makes up for your lack of resilience. You can either learn to care about protecting yourself and fighting back against your enemy, or you can face a swift exile and a lifetime of loneliness. NO one will trust you with information. NO one will rely on your strength to aid them if you lack the mental fortitude as well. Now fight!"

The call reverberated in her ears, echoing inside her skull and made Rey wince and take another step back even as she clenched her fists in disdain.

How dare he.

Sucking in a deep breath, Rey pushed back against the onslaught of power and tried to invade her senses, tried to pick apart her mind and violate the private recesses of her memories and feelings.

She couldn't stand for it.

Wouldn't stand for it.

'Take that vindication and repel me, you don't have to fight your way into my mind to do it, but you have to do something.'

"WHY?" She snarled lowly, taking her own step forward, turning her chip up to meet the towering figure's gaze, "Why care at all. YOU don't like me, so why try to teach me anything? What does it benefit you?"

He tried to push into her mind again, but Rey had heeded his advice and began fighting against the onslaught and invasion. She wouldn't allow him entry.

"Because," he snapped back, eyes blazing, "You're useless if you can't defend yourself and I fancy a more challenging fight than that."

He pushed his power further, harder, and more forcefully upon Rey, making the girl wince as her head shuddered with the assault and pain, but gritting her teeth, she pushed back, pushed him away.

Out of habit, her hands came forward to repel the man physically, even as she strained to thrust him from her mentally.

Ren, though, was prepared for her move and step aside before her hands could connect with his still bare chest.

Rey pushed her mental control further, willing the power that hummed beneath her skin to focus on Ren's presence in her mind, to hunt him out and expel him from her person. He was a parasite and she could not and would not allow him permanence in her thoughts.

'Good'

The low rumbling compliment echoed in her head as Rey concentrated, fortifying her thoughts and pushing the intruder further and further back.

'You have to concentrate, don't let anything distract you.'

And just as swiftly as the command came, Rey's ears picked up the unmistakable sound of Ren's lightsaber igniting.

In a moment of surprise and panic, Rey scrambled backwards as the crackling red light careened towards her, forgetting that she had been defending herself against the man's mental onslaught.

The barrage of clawing power pounded against her skull like a wave, crashing against her mind and making the girl wince dizzily as she struggled to find her own saber in defense.

'You're not very successful at defending yourself. Try harder!'

The reprimand was sharp as Rey brought the sleek silver hilt of her own saber forward and ignited the blade, meeting Ren's red weapon with her own.

'Don't forget to parry and hold your saber with a firm grip. Watch my movements and build up your mental defenses.'

The man swung the blade, pulling back suddenly before launching at the girl again, pressing advantage with his height. He bore down on Rey, sparks from their connected blades making it hard for the girl to see.

All the while he kept pushing his power through her senses, through her thoughts, digging and gleaning whatever information he could from her.

"You're not even trying to block the mental assault!" He snarled, his voice low and filled with disdain, "You'll never succeed if you give in so easily. Learn to focus your attentions. Your movements follow your mental commands. Keep a firm leash on your panic, on your fear, and let the force guide your abilities! Don't just give in!"

Rey glowered at the man and grit her teeth in agitation as she willed her fear down, far into the recesses of her mind, and tried to thrust Ren's hold on her senses as far from her as she could.

"Good. Keep pushing," He admonished as he pulled his saber back and shifted his stance for another assault.

His movements were quick but Rey was ready this time, willing her mind to remain firmly closed as she concentrated on analyzing the man's movements.

He'd parried left, his blade low this time and Rey countered by swiveling and levelling a hit to the man's shoulder with the hilt of her saber. All the while, she could feel the increasing mental pressure building, attempting to gain purchase in her mind. It ached fiercely and Rey was certain she'd have a headache come morning, but a small sliver of satisfaction welled in her as she realized that she could hold off the man's assaults (physical and mental).

'Don't get too comfortable,' the soft command came, 'Most enemies won't allow you a chance to do so. You need to remain on your guard for anything. Now, try lodging an assault on me. Take the initiative and press any advantage you have.'

Ren straightened his stance slightly, angling his saber towards the girl. And he waited.

Waited for her to make the first move.

Though, still in the back of her mind, she could feel his curiosity, his attempts to breach her newly—if rudimentary—mental defense.

At his command, though, Rey hesitated a familiar quiver of fear spiking in her at the temptation and the power that bubbled beneath the surface.

Kylo Ren sighed in agitation.

"Defending yourself or launching and assault are not hallmarks of a Sith lord" He snapped, with a frown, "Any Jedi, any person really, must learn to defend and attack when necessary. You'll never succeed if you don't get that through your thick skull. Now, attack!"

The young man sent a wave of power towards her and Rey felt her mental defenses begin to buckle. With displeasure, the girl snarled and willed her wall to hold on as she strutted towards the man saber at the read.

Reading his position and the angling of his feet and saber, Rey moved right, anticipating the man to favor his left side.

She was surprised when he met her blow with a strong hit of his own, nearly knocking the girl from her feet. But, Rey recovered quickly and struck the man low, nearly sending her blade into his side.

Surprised by her quick thinking, it appeared, Ren stumbled backwards barely blocking Rey's blade with his own.

'Good' he praised lightly—though Rey could sense the hallmarks of surprise in his tone, 'Now be prepared for someone to assault you mentally while you try to attack physically.

And then, a deluge of power washed over the girl as Kylo Ren tried, once more, to shatter her mental wall.

Rey, who'd been in the first paces of her attack, faltered momentarily, but it was enough for Kylo Ren to strike hard against her saber, his red blade meeting the connection between the hilt and the blade itself. It sent the weapon off balance and falling from Rey's grip. With a surprised groan, the heat of Ren's blade seared Rey's hand enough to cause the girl to draw back in surprise and stumble.

Unfortunately for her, the ground—still slick from the rainfall that'd continued to saturate the island—gave way and Rey felt herself tumble backwards down the low sloping hill and into the darkness.

The last image she noted was Kylo Ren's surprised face as she disappeared into the inky black of the surrounding hillside.

* * *

Ren watched the girl sink from his sight, a look of horror and surprise etched across her face before it dissolved from his view.

Initially, the young man took a step forward, a foreign sense of concern coursing through his veins at the girls sudden disappearance. But, just as suddenly as they'd appeared together, Kylo Ren was once more standing in his chambers, and only his chambers, the soft smell of rainfall and the image of the petulant would-be Jedi long gone from view.

Curiously, Ren noted as he peered down at his hands and discharged his saber, returning it to his belt, there remained soft droplets of water on his hands, hair and chest. Gooseflesh encased his arms as he hastily grabbed a towel and dried himself, wondering just what'd happened to the girl whose large, dark eyes—framed by even darker lashes—struck him and remained fixed in his mind's eye.

More importantly, though, he wondered why he even cared to know.


End file.
